Did Someone Call for a Harper? or, Hang On, Let Me Just Put On My...

For all your weddings, civil unions, parties, wakes, and St Padraig's Day needs, call on

Keith the Whimsical Harper!

His harps come in two flavors, gut-strung and brass- and silver-strung.

He'll show up in a tux, tails, or whatever else your heart desires (no top-hat and tu-tu combinations though; baaaad experience once).

Rates are reasonable for the general public, and practically free for friends and "family"/family!

He's done weddings in knee breeches, faux Renaissance attire, jeans and a bolo tie, all black, all white, overalls and a wife-beater, cheesy Civil War clothing, and others. NB! small extra fee for Keith to appear in pointy shoes or in all green with a bowler hat. You know.

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I'm not even kidding about the clothes people. Somewhere there are actually pics of me, Adam and Tammy playing banjo, guitar, and fiddle at a friend's wedding (Bryan if you're out there you owe me!). There was moonshine. It was flavored with watermelon Jolly Ranchers. How could I make that up??

I've also played dulcimer, baroque bassoon, modern bassoon, recorder, and crumhorn at weddings. I've done weddings officiated by rabbis, priests, Wiccan priestesses, Baptists, and Episcopals. I have been in weddings at waterfalls, horse barns, and a beautiful log chapel. For the bolo-tie-jeans-in-a-horse-barn wedding I put together AT THE BRIDE'S REQUEST a bassoon quartet. The wedding was on July 3 and ALSO AT THE BRIDE'S REQUEST we played marches by John Philip Sousa. She wore a mini-skirt, white off-the-shoulder top, and a long train which out-longed her skirt by at least two feet. He rode in on a white horse, and he wore jeans, black cowboy boots, and a tux top (but with a bolo, no bow tie).

In case you wondering, YES, I'M FOR SALE. I will play just about anything at a wedding. See, I have what I call the "Music Condom". This is an idea I had to cook up so I didn't feel like I was sullying my soul every time some doe-eyed sorostitute of a bride wanted me to play Randy Travis on the dulcimer at her wedding. Rather than get all Diva on her ass, I just put on the Music Condom and do what she wants. For a fee, of course.

Soul unstained, career untarnished, bride unvirginal. See? It all works!

Here we are again coming up on midnight. I had another nap today, this time sans quadrupeds draped over my person. It was invigorating! So I guess I'll get some sleep. It's raining peaceably and that makes me happy.

ttfn,

k